My Story

My story started in a small town in West Virginia where I learned to dance and dream big…

I was four years old when my parents noticed my natural talent for dance and decided to throw me into weekly dance lessons. This was the beginning of what I thought was going to be a long-lasting career for myself. At age five, I was convinced I’d be going to my father’s alma mater as a dance major…which I eventually did…and grow up to be a professional ballerina or at least have my dance school. In between my adolescent dance career and what I hoped to be a professional dance career, I was struggling with what most young dancers struggled with: body image and confidence.

I had a relationship with food that I didn’t realize I had…

My relationship with food was quite different than the stereotypical dancer. Food was a way of celebration, gathering with family, a treat after school, a competition of who could eat the most between my dad and me, and a prize if I did well in school. Anytime I was praised for something, it involved a favorite treat or a restaurant. I’d ask for trips to get a snack from the gas station to take the opportunity to bond or get advice from my dad when or I was given a sticker from the cafeteria lady for eating everything off my plate. I didn’t realize that all of these moments I was having with food were also building a relationship I’d have to struggle with down the road.

It’s not my parent’s fault…they were never taught about food relationships, so how could they teach me?

I began to associate GOOD feelings with food, so as I got older and life got more complicated, food was what I leaned on to cope with my struggles. If I didn’t get a part I wanted in dance…I’d get a treat from the local gas station. If a crush dumped me…I’d eat ice cream. If I was stressed…I’d mindlessly eat chips and salsa while I distracted myself with TV shows. My environment showed me that good food around loving people made me feel better. As a young active teen, I never saw the weight gain and my doctor appointments were always great. The issues with this relationship didn’t start happening until I was about to head towards college life.

My weight started to rise right before college and I thought it was just puberty…

Yes, it’s normal to start gaining weight in different ways as a teenager and through puberty, but I didn’t realize the weight gain was also from my eating habits and my recent slow-down from dance. I started to feel super self-conscious about my body around other girls and dancers, knowing that my thighs were a little thicker than others. My size small outfits were now size medium outfits, and this change cost me during my college dance auditions. The program I wanted to be in was a Bachelor in FINE Arts, but instead, I was placed in the Bachelor of Arts program, which was the path for students who they thought wouldn’t become professional dancers but rather dance teachers. I wanted to perform, so I DID NOT agree with this placement.

I placed myself on a 500-calorie diet with HCG drops and nearly passed out in dance class…

This is when I started my whirlwind of fad dieting that would last me for years. The 500-calorie diet didn’t last long when I realized what I ate affected how I performed as a dancer. I recall running to the student center coffee shop and chowing down on a giant chocolate chip cookie saying I would never do that again. This is where I turned to my dance professors for help. They knew I wanted to switch my degree to the fine arts one, so as I worked extremely hard to boost my technique, but I also had to lose weight to “look” like a dancer. I had help from them each week as they looked at my weekly food journals and told me what I should and shouldn’t be eating.

After losing 30lbs, I was told that I looked much better in crop tops…despite starting at an already healthy weight…

My body mass index became borderline underweight and I became obsessed with maintaining it there. I was landing parts in shows that I’ve always wanted and my confidence grew. It wasn’t until I dropped out of college and lived on my own to pursue a professional dance career that things got worse. My energy expenditure lowered since I wasn’t in more consistent dance classes, and my weight started to rise quickly. I had a personal trainer, but I couldn’t figure out how to diet accordingly. I was living in Los Angeles at this point, and all I saw was women who wanted to be celebrities and would do anything for it. I did juice cleanses, Weight Watchers, sprinkled Sensa on my takeout, tried replacement meals, and took advice from people who had no idea what they were talking about nutrition-wise. At the end of the day, I had no idea what I was doing and why it wasn’t working.

I decided I had to move home and needed to go back to college knowing that something wasn’t right…

When I moved back home to West Virginia, I was trying to figure out what I needed to do to get back on track and start dancing again. I continued cycle dieting and my weight kept going up. Since I was a college dropout, I had to work full-time, which took me further from my professional dancer dream. It wasn’t until one day I met someone who was a Dietitian, that it clicked that this was the path I wanted. I wanted to understand why yo-yo dieting didn’t work and what I needed at what level of energy expenditure to be healthy. My mind switched from being thin to being strong, and finally, things started to make sense.

Unfortunately, during the restart of my college career, I faced a damaging relationship that damaged my relationship with food further…

I was so excited to begin an amazing career path, but I also began dating someone who didn’t provide me with the support I needed to build my confidence or understand my vision, so I began to feel very alone. This individual had a very black-and-white mindset, so if I wanted to indulge in my favorite fast food, I couldn’t justify why it was ok to have my favorite treat. I started hiding these “bad” food options - eating it while I drove home from work or binging on it late at night when this individual was asleep. I threw away fast-food wrappers and bags in gas station trash cans so this individual wouldn’t find them, knowing they would tell me I was getting too big, reinforcing the binge behavior that was getting worse and worse. My relationship with this individual was failing and food was the only thing that made me happy.

Learning about nutrition saved me from a worsening relationship with food - but it was already too late…

Food was how I coped with life, and it wasn’t until I started to understand the science behind it that I started to face the facts and realize I had done damage to myself mentally and physically. My body adapted to yo-yo dieting and mentally I was exhausted from being obsessed with food thoughts. I eventually had the courage to leave my past relationship, start my dietetics program at the Kansas State University Global Program, and dove into bettering myself and my relationship with food.

This is when I wanted to show that there was a gap between nutrition education and dancers…

Through my up-and-down experiences with health, body image, and food, I now felt like I had a purpose. I want to be the go-to person for parents and dancers to teach them what they need to love their bodies, feel strong, and be empowered to make appropriate food choices for their activity level. To this day I still struggle with weight but I now have tools to improve that relationship. The only thing I wish I had was the tools when I was a young dancer in West Virginia. Building a healthy relationship with food and body image with children starts with the parents/guardians and it’s important to realize that the environment that they grow up in will have a role for the rest of their life.

I now am fully invested in a career in pediatric nutrition…

It’s important as a parent to know that I am completely invested in creating a positive and healthy environment for your child to thrive. As part of my master’s in public health program at the University of South Florida, I spent time working with collegiate dancers, teaching them how to have a better relationship with food and what type of food routines best fit the dancer's lifestyle. I want to help young dancers and athletes feel their best and close the gap that was missing in my early dance career. Food is a way to connect us, but it’s also a tool that provides us with the energy we need to perform our best. If this tool is misused, it’s easy to hurt growth and development which can do major damage to your child’s future as a young adult. This is why I can’t wait to help your child feel their best through nutrition!

I hope you enjoyed learning a little bit more about me and my journey and how I became the dietitian I always envisioned myself to be!

Maura Fowler, MPH, RDN, LDN, CPH